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I love Advent, I mean I REALLY love Advent. Think Elf in the movie when he's shouting and squealing about knowing Santa. I think I love it even more than Christmas Day itself. I especially love the sense of anticipation and the build up to the day when we celebrate Jesus' birthday. I get all weepy at the retelling of the nativity story and this year actually did cry when reading my favourite bit (Mary visiting Elizabeth and John leaping in his mother’s womb because he is in the presence of the Messiah) to our children’s church kids. When our own children were little we had bible story advent books to read and Names of Jesus candles to burn each night during Advent, and we used to sing “Happy Birthday” to Jesus as the dinner table on Christmas Day so they wouldn’t forget what the day really meant. But I also love the lights and the tingle in the air, Christmas songs in the shops and baubles as far as the eye can see, the present buying and menu planning, making a Christmas cake as far ahead as possible so the cake matures well before the Big Day and all the fuss and busyness. Ah… well… I like the last 2 things in theory. In practise…not so much.
Last year I ended up so frazzled in the weeks leading up to Christmas that I took a migraine on Christmas Eve that lasted right into Christmas Day and just wouldn’t shift. My poor, beleaguered husband ended up spending his Christmas Eve doing all the Christmas dinner prep (we had family coming) as well as icing the cake. And a bloody good job he did of it too! On Christmas Day I managed to be up for about a total of 3 hours scattered across the day so I could witness the presents being opened and say hi to the guests who arrived at various points throughout the day.
I really don’t want that to happen again.
So this year I had fabulous plans for a lovely, slow, thoughtful Advent. I got my Christmas shopping finished before the end of November….well almost…there’s always something you’ve forgotten to get. My cake fruit was soaked in good time, so it was baked before the end of November too. I booked my Christmas Sainsbury’s delivery for the 23rd while there were still choices of time slot – go me!
And I bought, weeks in advance, the most gorgeous Advent box from @blotterandbrush filled with ideas for gentle, reflective Advent activities and even made a great start following it on the 1st December when I made traditional hot chocolate and drank it on the chilly terraces of Ravenhill...sorry, Kingspan Stadium, watching Ulster play Cardiff in the rugby Pro 14 tournament.
But since then I haven’t even managed to put the correct number up every day. I had my 4th migraine in 16 days on the 2nd December. I’m worn paper thin and utterly exhausted. Even when my head is ok I have the other symptoms – an abdominal migraine my Dr calls it. A peaceful, thoughtful Advent appears to be beyond my reach yet again. So, what to do?
I’ve started down the road to Meaningful Advent recovery by listening to Episode 80 of Hunter Beless’s Journeywomen podcast. She interviewed Amy Waters (www.thegloryofamirror.blogspot.com ) about “When the Holidays Are Hard”. They covered everything from bereavement to burnout, from family strife to financial struggle and from unfulfilled expectations to losing sight of Jesus in the tinsel. I’ve been thinking about 2 wonderful women in my life who are having a really horrendous Advent this year. One has had an unthinkable bereavement and the other is half way through a 6 dose course of chemo. Christmas is going to be difficult for them this year in ways that I can’t even begin to get my head around. Through listening to Hunter and Amy and then reflecting on my 2 friends, I got some perspective back and so this is my plan;
1. I am not going to beat myself up if I don’t do my Advent Box activities every day, no matter how much I had wanted to do them, because that kindof defeats the purpose of the box.
2. I am not going to beat myself up if I don’t Instagram the days I do manage to do the activities.
3. I am going to catch up with the daily readings scheme my adorable and long-suffering bestie, Lorna, found on Facebook. "Beginning on December 1st, read one chapter of the book of Luke each evening. There are 24 chapters, so on Christmas Eve you will have read an entire account of Jesus’ life and wake up on Christmas morning knowing who and why we celebrate. (idea credit to Neil Proudfoot on Facebook)
4. If I miss a day of the daily readings I am not going to beat myself up. I can catch up and God is not going to be disappointed in me because He made me and knows me so He already has zero expectations of me.
5. I am going to prioritise people and time with friends and family over housework, card writing and present wrapping.
6. But if I start to feel stress or panic about said housework, card writing and present wrapping I will trust my friends and family to understand that I have things I need to do and that my health has to come first.
7. I am going to stop being stressed by planning the Children’s Church service and start enjoying the lead up to this most special of Sundays. These children are a blessing and they are the single most important ministry I have because they are the future of the church.
8. I am going to listen to my body and start saying no without shame or guilt……. well ok…. there will probably be lots of shame and guilt but I CANNOT put myself or my family through another Christmas like last year.
9. And most importantly, I am going to focus more on Jesus; Babe in a manger, Son of God, child of Mary, Messiah, Emmanuel, God With Us, my Saviour. I don’t want Him getting lost in the tinsel or a migraine again this year.
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